My (Kind of) Ugly Little Secret

Okay, so in the spirit of another el clasico on our hands tonight, I’m gonna come clean about my little football secret. You already know that I’m a Real Madrid fan, but we’re kind of on a break right now. I’m looking at you, Mourinho.

Anyway, I just need to get something off my chest, finally. It’s something that I have been carrying around with me for quite some time. And please, I hope I can share this with you without fear of reprisal or reproach. No judgement, okay?

(And really, who are you to judge me, heh?)

So, here it goes, I have a crush on a football player.

What’s that? “So what?”, you say? Oh, so you think that’s not such a dirty secret, huh? Well, let’s just say that my crush is not your normal crush-y, footballer type.

  • Does he have that wild, sweaty footballer body that makes you drool a little bit? check.
  • Does he run like the wind, reminding you of a warrior rushing in to save you from something heinous? check.
  • Does he use too much hair gel? well, no.
  • Does he encompass society’s view of handsome? um, two out of four?

What? No hair gel? Can’t possibly be a footballer, right?

Let’s do a rundown on possible candidates shall we? The list of usual suspects:

Meh.Sexy? Of course, but way too obvious. And that voice? Por favor...
Again - too much. Take out the sexy abs and you have one very tan, very greasy crybaby.
I have a lot of love and respect for you, but you do seem like a bit of a bobo.

I can’t hold out any longer. Please allow me to introduce you to my little crush, the Shark, el Tarzán, or as I like to call him, my sweet little sheep dog:

I can't explain it, but its true. I love this guy. His work ethic, his non-conformity, his major seventy's rock star hair. There's just no other like my Puyol.
And that hair. Just look at that movement, the curls, the swooshiness of the bangs. Tell me, Villa, CR7, Pique, does you hair gel give you this type of body? I think not...
And I you.

So there you have it – my secret. I’m sure you’re sitting there with a “wut da?” look on your face, but I don’t care. I’m proud to say that Puyol is my little footballer crush. Who’s yours?

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13 Responses to My (Kind of) Ugly Little Secret

  1. Erin says:

    I call him “caveman” or “the beast.” I’m also starting to feel nauseated after seeing these photos.

  2. I heart Puyol too! Barça has always been my team, and Puyol, although he wasn’t in Barça proper until I think 1998/9, has been a fixture ever since I moved to Spain in 1995. That Duracell boy just keeps going! My sporty crush is a French rugby caveman who gets all my cavewoman juices going every time I see him thundering across a pitch… Sebastien Chaval is simply luscious! http://quarteryear.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/sebastien-chabal_closer_star_large.jpg

    • Hamatha says:

      Well, any fan of Puyol is a friend of mine, for sure! And yes, part of his strange allure is his Duracell powered strength and determination …oh, don’t get me started!
      I’m gonna check out Mr. Chaval now…

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  5. Michelle Serio says:

    I stumbled upon your blog through Kickette.com-very funny! I am a 25 year old American who is considering moving to Madrid to teach English. I got my college degree in elementary/special education. I also minored in Spanish and studied abroad at La Universidad de Salamanca in 2008. Nothing is going on on the job front in Massachusetts. Do you think I should make the leap? …I know, you can’t make my decision for me haha :) Just wondering if you have any advice. Anyways the real reason I came here was to post this about Carlos Puyol: http://www.insidespanishfootball.com/puyol-and-miki-roque-a-frienship-born-of-tragedy/ I always thought he was less than desirable compared to the other Greek God-like players of La Roja but wow que bonita is this gesture!

    • Hamatha says:

      Hi Michelle,
      Thanks for your kind words! And even more gratitude for the Puyol link! I just love him and yes, its not only his glamourous locks that make him fantastic, he really cares about people in need. An angel through and through! ;)

      And yes, move to Madrid! There’s no better time and if you don’t have a job right now, do it! But, I would make sure that you have a back up plan. As I’m sure that everyone has told you, the crisis here is getting worse and worse and it could be difficult finding a job, especially if you don’t have a work visa. So, make sure that, if you take the leap, you research everything you might need in order to make the big move and, more importantly, make sure you have a back up plan if you need it, okay?

      Good luck!

  6. Mo says:

    I´m obviously the old grumpy and wicked stepmoma here. NO Michelle, stay where you are! And as for Puyol, grumble,grumble,grumble, he´s not my cuppa pheromones. No, lo mío is what that Sara Coalminer of a woman stole, Casillas, Iker! What – apart from vaginal facial labia- does he see in her? She´s talentless, imagination-less, personality-less, conformista and willing to sell out her professional career for shampoo (and boost that lack of a career with a boob job). Confused little girl, say I. Grumble, grumble, granny grumble.

  7. Michelle Serio says:

    Just curious Mo why do you say no?

  8. ilovepancakes says:

    isn’t he just just so sexy he is so hot especially when he is shirtless you are not the only one here, i love him

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