Okay, so in the spirit of another el clasico on our hands tonight, I’m gonna come clean about my little football secret. You already know that I’m a Real Madrid fan, but we’re kind of on a break right now. I’m looking at you, Mourinho.
Anyway, I just need to get something off my chest, finally. It’s something that I have been carrying around with me for quite some time. And please, I hope I can share this with you without fear of reprisal or reproach. No judgement, okay?
(And really, who are you to judge me, heh?)
So, here it goes, I have a crush on a football player.
What’s that? “So what?”, you say? Oh, so you think that’s not such a dirty secret, huh? Well, let’s just say that my crush is not your normal crush-y, footballer type.
- Does he have that wild, sweaty footballer body that makes you drool a little bit? check.
- Does he run like the wind, reminding you of a warrior rushing in to save you from something heinous? check.
- Does he use too much hair gel? well, no.
- Does he encompass society’s view of handsome? um, two out of four?
What? No hair gel? Can’t possibly be a footballer, right?
Let’s do a rundown on possible candidates shall we? The list of usual suspects:
I can’t hold out any longer. Please allow me to introduce you to my little crush, the Shark, el Tarzán, or as I like to call him, my sweet little sheep dog:
So there you have it – my secret. I’m sure you’re sitting there with a “wut da?” look on your face, but I don’t care. I’m proud to say that Puyol is my little footballer crush. Who’s yours?