Even for someone like me, who has high levels of rabid-like positivity flowing through her veins, its surprisingly easy to let a little bitterness slip into the old expat life tubes once in a while.
In fact, some days, I feel that I just have one, long evil fuse that slowly and subtly burns on a permanent basis and then, all of a sudden, it explodes and wham! I’m in total hate with this country.
And while I try to keep a positive twist on things at the old Pass the Ham, I think I might have to do one of those posts that I always have me rolling my eyes. I really don’t like complainy posts, but I have to concede that sometimes it’s just necessary.
Otherwise, I may be calling you for bail money after I slap some random people on the street because that’s just what I feel like doing – going on a massive slapping spree. Bitter old Spanish women, obnoxious young Spanish ni-ni’s, tourists, children, puppies, whatever.
That’s right - at this moment I want to slap a puppy.
People, this is bad.
And where did this puppy slapping urge come from? I don’t know. I guess the last few months have been a succession of what I refer to as nada moments.
What’s a nada moment, you ask?
Well, whenever I’m talking with someone about a particular problem or something that’s bothering us (that’s not life-threatening), I usually reply with a tone of “Oh, well, what cha gonna do?” In Spanish, I usually just respond with simple “nada”, meaning that its probably best to just move on and don’t worry about it.
However, lately, I’ve had a lot of nada moments of my own and they’re just driving me crazy. Don’t you ever have those little things that happen to you and even though you know that they aren’t really important, they still manage irk you to no end?
1) Nada de Manners. In the last two months, I’ve had two concrete job offers that have disappeared into thin air. As most of you know, I work as a freelance writer and I get by between the few steady clients I have, but I’m always looking to expand my portfolio a bit, so I’m constantly looking for new projects.
Recently, I went on an interview, then I went back for a second interview, then I met with them a third time. On the fourth visit, I was hired. It looked like a great job meaning I could still work from home, but have a major role in the company, etc. I was hired and ready to go. We talked about money, came to an agreement, and then, I was to go in to sign the contract “next week”. Then … crickets. Nothing. Nada. I contacted them and they told me that they were waiting on this or that and then … nada.
This has happened to me twice now. I don’t get it. Obviously, they want to hire someone, they interview me, they hire me and then … nada.
2) Nada de funny, people. I’ve kind of had it with Spanish humor. I mean, I just can’t get excited about something that seem so juvenile. No, that’s really not “que bueno”- its just, plain “que stupid”. Give me some sarcasm, some wit, some depth, something other than boobs on a man, for example.
3) Nada de variety. I’ve just returned from a quick trip to London and you know what? There is food there; seemingly, all kinds of authentic culinary gifts in every neighborhood at reasonable prices! Thai! Indian! Vietnamese! Chinese! Italian! Moroccan! Bangladeshi!
Look, I really love Spanish food and yes, Madrid has some great restaurants that serve pretty decent international fare, but I’m just at the point where I want more options at my fingertips. I want a Brick Lane and I want it now. I want distinct choices and I don’t want to go searching for it all over the place. And yes, I’ve tried Lavapies, but I want something more. I used to eat around the world on one street and that was in Atlanta, Georgia for ham’s sake! I want more flavors and more variety. Please, I want my food standards back.
4) Nada de weather. Look, people, it’s hot in summertime and it’s cold in wintertime. Do we have to start every single conversation with a recap of the current weather?
5) Nada de voice. I can’t believe after all this time, I’m still caught off-guard Spanish-wise. Recently, someone very close to me insulted me (in Spanish) and under normal circumstances, I would have told them to go shove it or at least, stood up for myself. But no, I just turned around and said nothing. I don’t know why my personality has to change when I’m “in” another language. I could have easily stood up for myself in Spanish at the time, but just got stuck in the process. It has bothered me for days now and I hate that feeling.
Well, nada. That’s my bitch-list for the year. Hopefully, next time, maybe I’ll be posting about how sweet puppies are instead of how puppy slap-happy I am.